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Post by Admin on Nov 30, 2016 14:04:06 GMT -8
Lord have mercy -- she really doesn't at all. Perhaps I don't know her either.
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MelaninMonroe
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Post by MelaninMonroe on Nov 30, 2016 15:02:11 GMT -8
What's the backstory? I understand the feeling though. I don't think anyone really knows or understands me. I don't mind. I'd rather keep it that way.
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Post by Admin on Nov 30, 2016 19:58:22 GMT -8
The backstory is extremely long and still ongoing. LOL! MelaninMonroe It starts before I was even born. I feel that way too except it's my mom...and it is frustrating trying to ask her for help or hold a normal conversation with her because we are so different. Nobody on this earth except my therapist know me, honestly. My grandma did but she is no longer here :/ |
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shady81
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Post by shady81 on Dec 1, 2016 9:19:44 GMT -8
The backstory is extremely long and still ongoing. LOL! MelaninMonroe It starts before I was even born. I feel that way too except it's my mom...and it is frustrating trying to ask her for help or hold a normal conversation with her because we are so different. Nobody on this earth except my therapist know me, honestly. My grandma did but she is no longer here :/ Don't feel bad I'm going through the same thing with my mom. But she kills me when she says "I know you! Because you're my child." But hell she doesn't even know my sister unless my sister gets extremely drunk then she starts telling on herself, she's an alcoholic so when she gets liquor up that liquor is her automatic truth serum.(She's really Pathetic) my therapist knows me better than my own mother as well. But me and my mother really don't get along because she's a complainer, instigator, she's controlling, manipulative, crazy etc. I love her but I can only deal with her for so long, and she hasn't even thanked me for taking care of her and her house, she's also unappreciative. |
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MelaninMonroe
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Post by MelaninMonroe on Dec 1, 2016 9:38:01 GMT -8
The backstory is extremely long and still ongoing. LOL! MelaninMonroe It starts before I was even born. I feel that way too except it's my mom...and it is frustrating trying to ask her for help or hold a normal conversation with her because we are so different. Nobody on this earth except my therapist know me, honestly. My grandma did but she is no longer here :/ I get what you mean. That's I don't tend to get into depth in my conversations with my mother. My therapist is good but I'm even switching from her. She certainly does know the most about me though. My condolences on your loss  . At least you had someone within the family you could relate to at some point. |
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Post by Admin on Dec 1, 2016 17:09:03 GMT -8
Don't feel bad I'm going through the same thing with my mom. But she kills me when she says "I know you! Because you're my child." But hell she doesn't even know my sister unless my sister gets extremely drunk then she starts telling on herself, she's an alcoholic so when she gets liquor up that liquor is her automatic truth serum.(She's really Pathetic) my therapist knows me better than my own mother as well. But me and my mother really don't get along because she's a complainer, instigator, she's controlling, manipulative, crazy etc. I love her but I can only deal with her for so long, and she hasn't even thanked me for taking care of her and her house, she's also unappreciative. I hope your sister can get some help! That must be extremely hard to deal with and I am sorry you are going through that, shady! My mother...it's hard to explain, but to sum everything up: I am her mother. She has never really been able to take care of herself, and my grandmother kind of enabled that until my mom's 20s, but the damage was already done. My mom is pretty sweet she is just...there are time it really it like she is my child. I am young, but I do feel like her mom a lot of the time - like I have to look out for her, take care of her, make sure no one tries to harm her, etc. It is frustrating to say the least. I get what you mean. That's I don't tend to get into depth in my conversations with my mother. My therapist is good but I'm even switching from her. She certainly does know the most about me though. My condolences on your loss . At least you had someone within the family you could relate to at some point. It sucks when you have to switch therapists, but I am hoping your next therapist is an improvement! I was really scared to changed from my first one, but it was the best decision I made because I got really lucky with the new lady who I've been seeing for a little over a year. She's not Black, but I recently found out she is "woke". I was surprised LOL! The only person I have really ever bonded with was my grandma and a few girls from grade school *shrugs* It just is what it is, ya know? Thanks and that's a damn good point!  |
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MelaninMonroe
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Post by MelaninMonroe on Dec 1, 2016 17:42:44 GMT -8
Don't feel bad I'm going through the same thing with my mom. But she kills me when she says "I know you! Because you're my child." But hell she doesn't even know my sister unless my sister gets extremely drunk then she starts telling on herself, she's an alcoholic so when she gets liquor up that liquor is her automatic truth serum.(She's really Pathetic) my therapist knows me better than my own mother as well. But me and my mother really don't get along because she's a complainer, instigator, she's controlling, manipulative, crazy etc. I love her but I can only deal with her for so long, and she hasn't even thanked me for taking care of her and her house, she's also unappreciative. I hope your sister can get some help! That must be extremely hard to deal with and I am sorry you are going through that, shady! My mother...it's hard to explain, but to sum everything up: I am her mother. She has never really been able to take care of herself, and my grandmother kind of enabled that until my mom's 20s, but the damage was already done. My mom is pretty sweet she is just...there are time it really it like she is my child. I am young, but I do feel like her mom a lot of the time - like I have to look out for her, take care of her, make sure no one tries to harm her, etc. It is frustrating to say the least. I get what you mean. That's I don't tend to get into depth in my conversations with my mother. My therapist is good but I'm even switching from her. She certainly does know the most about me though. My condolences on your loss . At least you had someone within the family you could relate to at some point. It sucks when you have to switch therapists, but I am hoping your next therapist is an improvement! I was really scared to changed from my first one, but it was the best decision I made because I got really lucky with the new lady who I've been seeing for a little over a year. She's not Black, but I recently found out she is "woke". I was surprised LOL! The only person I have really ever bonded with was my grandma and a few girls from grade school *shrugs* It just is what it is, ya know? Thanks and that's a damn good point! It really does, especially when you've already established a relationship. Thanks girl! I hope so too! Oh well damn! That's good!
Naturally or made an effort to bond with?
Are you an only child? Oh wow, it's crazy how our childhood struggles manifest in our later adult years.
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shady81
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Post by shady81 on Dec 1, 2016 17:42:51 GMT -8
Don't feel bad I'm going through the same thing with my mom. But she kills me when she says "I know you! Because you're my child." But hell she doesn't even know my sister unless my sister gets extremely drunk then she starts telling on herself, she's an alcoholic so when she gets liquor up that liquor is her automatic truth serum.(She's really Pathetic) my therapist knows me better than my own mother as well. But me and my mother really don't get along because she's a complainer, instigator, she's controlling, manipulative, crazy etc. I love her but I can only deal with her for so long, and she hasn't even thanked me for taking care of her and her house, she's also unappreciative. I hope your sister can get some help! That must be extremely hard to deal with and I am sorry you are going through that, shady! My mother...it's hard to explain, but to sum everything up: I am her mother. She has never really been able to take care of herself, and my grandmother kind of enabled that until my mom's 20s, but the damage was already done. My mom is pretty sweet she is just...there are time it really it like she is my child. I am young, but I do feel like her mom a lot of the time - like I have to look out for her, take care of her, make sure no one tries to harm her, etc. It is frustrating to say the least. I get what you mean. That's I don't tend to get into depth in my conversations with my mother. My therapist is good but I'm even switching from her. She certainly does know the most about me though. My condolences on your loss . At least you had someone within the family you could relate to at some point. It sucks when you have to switch therapists, but I am hoping your next therapist is an improvement! I was really scared to changed from my first one, but it was the best decision I made because I got really lucky with the new lady who I've been seeing for a little over a year. She's not Black, but I recently found out she is "woke". I was surprised LOL! The only person I have really ever bonded with was my grandma and a few girls from grade school *shrugs* It just is what it is, ya know? Thanks and that's a damn good point! Illuminati me and you are going through the same thing with our mom's she acts like a child too and I feel like I'm her mother as well. But I think it's her bipolar and paranoia dealing with a mother with a mental illness is quite hard,and my grandmother was my saving grace until she fell ill with dementia and on top of that she died of lung cancer back in 2012 she was 80 years old. As for my sister we're 14 years apart in age difference I'm 35 and she's 47 and she's narcissistic as hell and a sociopath, on top of an alcoholic and don't care either why because she's always right. I've been with my therapist for 11 years and she's seen me go through it I like her alot. She I can talk to her about everything and not feel embarrassed about anything. She's kind of like a therapist and friend when I go see her it doesn't even seem like a session, that's how comfortable I am with her. |
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MelaninMonroe
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Post by MelaninMonroe on Dec 5, 2016 22:11:59 GMT -8
You know, this thread makes me a think of another thread on LSA about African parents. We makes jokes about African parenting styles but never realize how damaging and draining it is to live under African parents. Honestly, I think the shared experiences almost makes most African kids normalize the behavior of their parents which most times borders on abuse.
In terms of my relationship with my mother, it was always comfortable and I don't mean that in a good way. My father was the sentimental one. He was also the one I got into the most fights with but at least we had a relationship and were close when we weren't fighting. Me and my mother never talked, fought, nothing. She was just there, most times. We've gotten closer now but it doesn't always feel mother/daughter to be honest.
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Post by Admin on Dec 6, 2016 16:19:47 GMT -8
Had a nice, super emotional talk with my mom yesterday...Of course she does not understand everything, but she told me some things I needed to know.
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Post by MelaninMonroe on Dec 7, 2016 10:42:27 GMT -8
Had a nice, super emotional talk with my mom yesterday...Of course she does not understand everything, but she told me some things I needed to know. Aww, I'm glad you two could have that talk. Do you think it improved things? |
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Post by Admin on Dec 8, 2016 11:31:04 GMT -8
Had a nice, super emotional talk with my mom yesterday...Of course she does not understand everything, but she told me some things I needed to know. Aww, I'm glad you two could have that talk. Do you think it improved things? I'm not sure just yet. I guess I'll know when I fly out to see her in a few weeks. I really hope things are better. She even said that we'll have a different relationship because the mother/daughter has said. Maybe she gets it now. |
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. At least you had someone within the family you could relate to at some point. 